MJP-003: Retired From Complaints

Adrian

....Hey—it’s Adrian, and this is . Today’s episode is short, sharp, and real. It’s called: . Let’s get into it.

Adrian

A while back, I saw Will Smith say something that stuck with me.

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He said: “I’ve retired from trying to make my wife happy. I told her—You go make happy, and show me it’s even possible.”

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No pun intended, that hit me. Because it wasn’t cold. It was . It was a boundary. A truth.And it made me realize: I needed to retire too. Not from relationships—But from listening to people .

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Frustration is resistance. It’s the gap between how things and how we them to be. And the truth is—most people don’t want to their situation.They just want to . Again. And again. And again.

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I’ve been there. I’ve listened. I’ve nodded.

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And I’ve realized—we’re both wasting time.

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So I made a decision. Unless you’re ready to move, I’m not staying in the loop.

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Let’s be honest. Talking isn’t doing. Repeating your complaints doesn’t solve anything. If you’ve said the same thing three times and nothing has changed—You’re not venting.

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You’re . And I’m retired from that.

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Psychologists say people mostly complain about 3 things: Other people’s behavior; Daily annoyances; and their own stress.

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They tell us people get stuck here because it feels, well, safe. Talking about the problem is easier than facing it. But here’s the thing—Most of that stuff? You can’t control. So what can you do?

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Reframe it. Practice gratitude. Take action.

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Or accept it and let it go.

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But looping the same frustration? That’s not the move.

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Think of frustration like a dashboard light—a signal that there’s a gap between what you want and what’s actually happening. It’s uncomfortable, sure, but discomfort? That’s an opportunity in disguise. It means there’s energy there, waiting to be redirected.

Adrian

In cybersecurity, we call it a threat landscape. You spot a weak point or an issue in the system, but you don’t panic. You isolate it, and then... then you decide how to react. Do you patch it? Do you upgrade? Or do you just move on and accept that not every vulnerability is worth fixing? Frustration works the same way.

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Complaining is easy. Adapting? That takes intent. And honestly, it’s tough—it really is—but I’ve learned that doing nothing only keeps you tethered to the problem.

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There was this project I worked on a few years back, and let’s just say—it felt like everything was going wrong. Deadlines slipping, team communication breaking down, you name it. I sat with that frustration longer than I should’ve. I kept replaying the problems in my head. But eventually, I shifted gears. I started asking, alright, what’s fixable? What’s not? And most importantly, what can I delegate? Once I stopped resisting the situation and redefined how I saw it, things started moving. You know, we hit that deadline—not perfectly—but we got there.

Adrian

So, here’s the thing. Frustration isn’t the enemy—like I said, it’s resistance. You can either let that energy weigh you down, or—better yet—you can pivot. Whether it’s practicing gratitude to reframe the situation, accepting what’s out of your hands, or taking one small actionable step, the only way forward is movement.

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Alright, so—let’s talk about building your anti-complaint toolkit. Why? Because if breaking free from the complaint cycle is the goal, then having the right tools? That’s how you get there.

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Now, the first tool? Setting boundaries. And I don’t mean like putting up walls or shutting people out. I mean being clear about what you will and won’t engage with. It’s about protecting your energy and making sure you’re not stuck in loops that, let’s face it, don’t lead anywhere.

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One way I think about it is like a firewall. In cybersecurity, you set up filters to block unnecessary or harmful traffic. The same applies here. If someone’s complaining, ask yourself—is this traffic worth letting in? Are they looking for solutions, or are they stuck in rehearsal mode? If it’s the latter, it’s okay to redirect the conversation—or step away entirely.

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Next up—action planning. This one’s my favorite, because it’s all about moving forward. When frustration hits, don’t stay there. Ask yourself, okay, what’s one small thing I can do to address this? It’s not about solving everything all at once—it’s about taking a step. Because action, no matter how small, breaks the cycle.

Adrian

And let’s not forget personal accountability. This one’s big, so listen up. Accountability is about owning your role in the story. If there’s a pattern you keep falling into—complaining, procrastinating, whatever it is—it’s time to hit pause and reflect. Where are you vulnerable? What’s triggering the frustration? Once you identify those things, you can start building strategies to strengthen those weak areas.

Adrian

You know, there's this saying in cybersecurity: "The best defense is a good offense." So the key is anticipating problems and preparing for them. It’s the same with life. The more equipped you are, the less noise complaints will create. And speaking of noise—why didn’t the software complain? It learned to fix its bugs.

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Okay, okay—terrible joke. But you get the point. Complaining solves nothing. Taking action? That’s the real move.

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So as we wrap up today, here’s the challenge I’m leaving you with.

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Retire.

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Retire from the emotional noise. Retire from being someone else’s complaint inbox. Retire from repeating the same story to yourself with no intention to act. And instead? Ask yourself:

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If something—take the step. If nothing—then choose peace, not performance. Because I’ve learned: You don’t help someone by holding their hand in a maze they refuse to leave.

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Let that one sink in. You don't help someone, by holding their hand, in a maze they refuse to leave.

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You have three choices: One—accept the situation as it is.Two—do something to change it.Three—do something to remove yourself from it.

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Anything else… is madness.

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This was Adrian, and you’ve been listening to . If this resonated—share it. If you’re ready for the next level—stick around.

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Stay grounded. Stay sharp.

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And don’t get stuck in the maze.