MJP-012B: Beyond the Hype — Identity, Mindset, and Real Change

Lisa

Welcome to Mind Jedi Podcast B-Sides. I’m Lisa. This is the pull-it-apart edition of the Mind Jedi Podcast—the after-party where the theories get stress-tested and sometimes torn to shreds. And today, fittingly, we’re asking: if identity is something you can rewrite, how do we make sure it’s not just motivational glitter but real, lasting change? Denice?

Denice

Hey everyone, I’m Denice. I’m here to bridge the metaphors with the science—making sure the claims hold up to real research.

Max

And I’m Max. Think of me as your in-house skeptic. If it’s hype, I’ll call it. If it’s science, I’ll give it a pass.

Lisa

Today, we’re unpacking last week’s Mind Jedi Podcast episode 12, where Celeste and Solomon dove into identity, mindset, and the power to change.

Lisa

Last episode, Celeste dropped the line: “Identity isn’t fixed, it’s chosen.” Remember her story about the village artist who stopped copying trends and finally painted from her own truth? That’s when her art came alive.

Denice

And what’s fascinating is how much support it has from modern psychology and neuroscience. We’re moving past the old idea that you’re locked in by your past or your genes. Science now shows identity is an active, ongoing choice. It’s that dynamic narrative we tell ourselves.

Max

Okay, but isn’t that just a fancy way of saying “fake it until you make it”? You can’t just wish yourself into a new identity.

Denice

Not wish—author. Psychologists call it conscious authorship: you’re actively writing your life’s story going forward. And the kicker is, it’s not about blaming yourself for the past. It’s about recognizing your agency right now to choose who you want to become.

Lisa

I like that word Denice—authorship. Makes it feel less like a motivational poster and more like an actual pen in your hand.

Denice

Exactly. And it’s important to distinguish this from identity foreclosure.

Max

Foreclosure? Sounds like a bank repo.

Denice

[Laughs] In a way, yeah. Identity foreclosure is when you adopt roles or beliefs from your family, culture, or community without ever checking if they’re really you. Like going into the family business because it’s expected—even if you hate it.

Lisa

Or adopting political views just because everyone around you does?

Denice

Correct is Right, Lisa. Conscious authorship is the opposite: choosing what fits, discarding what doesn’t.

Max

Okay, but does “choosing” really stick? Or is this just art-class poetry dressed up as psychology?

Lisa

I hear that, Max. We’ve all been burned by empty slogans before—so yeah, it’s fair to test whether this one holds up.

Denice

Here’s where it gets real. Research shows identity-based language works when it’s paired with action. Saying “I am a person who exercises” sticks more than “I want to exercise..

Denice

Every small action after that reinforces the new track on your identity playlist. That’s self-perception theory: we decide who we are by watching what we do.

Max

So if I start saying, “I am the kind of guy who likes Brussels sprouts,” will I magically crave them?

Lisa

[Laughs] Only if you actually eat them, Max. Words plus action, that’s the Jedi combo.

Denice

Seriously though, the power of language is huge here. How you talk about yourself matters. There’s solid evidence showing that with switching to “I am a person who exercises,” you’re over 50% more likely to do it.

Max

Hold on—fifty percent? Just from swapping “want” to “am”? That sounds like clickbait stats.

Denice

Yeah, but think about it. “I want” puts it out there like a someday wish. “I am” says, this is already part of me. It’s an identity claim, not a lottery ticket.

Lisa

Exactly. It’s not just wordplay. It literally helps reprogram behavior. Because when you say “I am,” you’re shifting from a goal to a state of being. You’re telling your brain: this is who I am now.

Max

Okay, but why does the brain buy that? I mean, it knows you’re not suddenly The Rock just because you said it.

Lisa

[Laughs] True. But this is where neuroplasticity comes in—the brain’s ability to rewire based on repeated experience. When you keep saying “I am courageous” and then take even a tiny courageous action, you’re literally strengthening the brain pathways that support being courageous.

Denice

So each “I am” is like laying down a track. At first it’s just a faint trail, but every repetition—and every matching action—makes it clearer until it’s the default path your brain takes.

Lisa

Exactly. Your self-talk isn’t just floating in your head. It’s building the neural architecture of identity. You’re giving your brain new instructions.

Max

So basically, your words are like code—you keep running the same script until your brain updates the operating system.

Lisa

That’s the idea. And the cool part is—you’re the coder. So, here's a challenge maybe for you listening. Just take a second. What's one word, one characteristic you genuinely choose to embody more fully right now? Maybe calm, focused, creative, patient. Pick one that feels right. Say it in “I am” language. Now, what's one tiny, super small action you could take today that expresses that? Doesn't have to be huge. Just one small thing. That’s Celeste’s authorship idea in practice.

Denice

So that’s identity as a choice. But what happens after the choice? Solomon says the real proof is in consistency. Let’s test that.

Max

Ok, so Solomon kept hammering this idea: “slow, steady choices are like compound interest for your identity.” Cute metaphor, but does it hold up?

Denice

Celeste had this lovely phrase: ‘When our actions and our sense of self start to sing the same song, life flows easier. It’s no longer a struggle, it’s a dance.’”

Lisa

Beautiful, right? And it pushes back on the pressure we all feel sometimes — that we need a huge epiphany or total life overhaul. Sol was saying no. Real change is about talking to yourself more kindly today, or trying one small action that aligns with who you’re choosing to be.

Max

Sounds almost too simple. Like a motivational bumper sticker.

Denice

Except it’s backed by neuroscience. This is neuroplasticity in action. Remember the forest path analogy? Every small choice is like walking that path. The more you walk it, the clearer and easier it gets.

Denice

So these tiny micro-habits they’re literally building the brain’s architecture one connection at a time.

Lisa

Exactly. Psychologists say fire together, wire together. Speak with courage repeatedly and your brain literally makes courage more automatic. It becomes a new default setting.

Max

So, less like flipping a switch, more like slowly updating your software in the background?

Lisa

Perfect metaphor. And this steady process also reduces something called cognitive dissonance — that internal tug-of-war when your actions don’t match your identity. Like telling yourself, ‘I’m punctual,’ but always running late.

Denice

And that gap drains energy, right? You waste it on guilt and excuses.

Lisa

Right. But when your actions and your self-concept align, you stop fighting yourself. That frees up energy and often leads to a flow state — where you’re absorbed, energized, and at ease.

Lisa

So maybe pause for a second: Where in your life right now do you feel that tug-of-war? What’s one tiny, consistent choice you could make today to bring your actions closer to your deeper values? Just one step toward harmony.

Max

Okay, that does sound more practical. Less struggle, more dance.

Denice

And the science makes it clear: those small, steady bricks you lay down? They really do build new neural architecture. It’s not just a metaphor — it’s literally how change happens.”

Lisa

So, Solomon was saying that each small action is a deposit into your identity account. Doesn’t feel like much, but it compounds.

Lisa

Example: if your script is “I’m not creative,” rebel with five minutes of doodling daily. If it’s “I can’t unplug,” put your phone in another room for ten minutes after work. Track streaks, not perfection.

Max

Five minutes, Lisa? That’s enough? My gym coach lied to me.

Lisa

[Laughs] Consistency beats intensity, Max. And Solomon was right about grand gestures fizzling. Research on implementation intentions shows pre-planned “If–then” habits stick.

Max

Who’s behind that one?

Denice

Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer. He found that when you plan ahead—like “If I sit at my desk, then I start a 5-minute timer”—you’re much more likely to follow through. Willpower is shaky, but pre-programming works.

Max

Fine. Small steps add up. But Celeste also claimed you can hack your mood just by breathing or standing tall. Really? Let’s pull that apart.

Lisa

Celeste and Solomon had some down-to-earth observations here, like how posture affects mood. Celeste said, ‘When you slump—shoulders down—you feel heavier, sluggish. But lift your head, open your chest, even for a second…you feel lighter, more open.’

Denice

Exactly. Instantly lighter, more capable. It’s something we’ve all probably felt, but maybe haven’t consciously used. That’s the mind–body connection in action.

Max

So wait—you’re saying just standing up straighter makes me confident? That sounds like self-help yoga poster stuff.

Denice

It’s more than that. Solomon tells this story of a lost traveler. Instead of panicking, the traveler just stops, listens—birdsong, wind, anything to get bearings. The point is: changing how you feel isn’t always about thinking harder, but tuning into your body. Breath. Posture. Awareness.

Lisa

They’re saying we have more agency over emotions than we think—we can be participants, not just passengers.

Max

“Okay…but is that really science, or just nice stories?”

Denice

Science. This is embodied cognition. That means your body doesn’t just reflect your feelings—it actually shapes them. It’s a two-way street.

Max

So changing your body can change your mind?

Denice

Exactly. Think power poses. Research shows expansive posture—standing tall, hands on hips—can reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, and boost confidence. It even shifts testosterone, linked to assertiveness.

Max

Seriously? Just from standing differently?”

Denice

Yes. Physiological changes. And breathing is another lever. When you consciously slow your breath—say, inhale for four, exhale for six—you flip your nervous system from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest. That lowers anxiety and brings calm. It’s not woo-woo—it’s a physical mechanism.

Lisa

How about we demonstrate with a 1-minute reset exercise right now? We simply breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of four, then exhale for a count of 6.

Max

Bring it on, Lisa. I’m game.

Lisa

Great! Everyone, drop your shoulders, and..

Lisa

Inhale

Lisa

... two, three, four...

Lisa

Hold...

Lisa

two, three, four...

Lisa

Exhale...

Lisa

two, three, four, five, six.

Lisa

Name what you feel, then ask: What’s my next tiny helpful move?

Max

[Exhales] Okay… I admit it, less cranky already. If I start glowing in my cubicle, though, I’m blaming Celeste.

Lisa

Glow optional, calm required. And don’t forget gratitude. Celeste and Solomon were right about that too.

Max

“Okay. Sell me on gratitude. Don’t tell me it’s just journaling fluff. How does it work…biochemically?

Lisa

Glad you asked. Practicing gratitude consistently—whether it’s a journal or just mentally noting small things—literally acts like a neurochemical powerhouse. It boosts serotonin and dopamine—your feel-good chemicals tied to mood, motivation, pleasure, and reward.

Max

So it’s not just a nice thought—it’s chemistry.

Denice

Exactly. And beyond mood, gratitude strengthens resilience. By focusing attention on the positive, you counter the brain’s natural negativity bias. You’re lighting up reward centers, decision-making areas—basically rewiring your brain for well-being.

Max

Okay, that’s actually compelling. Not fluff at all.

Lisa

And here’s the kicker—it’s ridiculously simple. You don’t need a weeklong retreat. One line in a notebook. One mental list before bed. That’s enough to start shifting the brain’s wiring.

Lisa

So here’s the challenge: Next time you feel stressed or overwhelmed, try one of the tools we’ve talked about today. Change your posture, or take 60 seconds to note three things you’re grateful for—however small. See what happens.

Max

Fine. If it gives me even a tiny dopamine hit without Brussels sprouts, I’m in.

Lisa

Brains, bodies, chemistry—it all connects. And the science says gratitude isn’t soft. It’s strength training for your mind.

Denice

And once your state is steady, you can tackle the deeper roots: those old limiting beliefs. That’s where Solomon’s garden metaphor comes in.

Lisa

The “garden of the mind” metaphor really stuck with me, Denice. Old seeds, same crops, same results—unless you plant new ones.

Denice

I love it too, Lisa. Step one? notice the old seed. Step two: plant a tiny rebellion—a small action that contradicts the belief.

Max

It's Poetic, no doubt. But how do you know it’s not just fancy gardening talk?

Denice

Because action is the evidence. Albert Bandura showed this with his idea of self-efficacy.

Max

Can you break that down, Denice?

Denice

Sure! Self-efficacy is just your belief that you can handle something. And Bandura—

Max

And who's this Bandura guy?

Denice

Famous psychologist. He found confidence doesn’t come from pep talks—it comes from mastery experiences, small wins that prove you can do it.

Lisa

Okay, give us an example of a tiny rebellion

Denice

Alright, say the belief is, ‘I’m terrible at public speaking. I’ll just freeze up.’ The old thought hits right before a meeting. The tiny rebellion isn’t forcing a TED Talk — it’s something as small as, ‘What if I share one idea?’ Or even, ‘What if I just make eye contact with one friendly face?’ Then do that one small thing.

Max

So basically…lower the bar?”

Denice

Lowering the bar to make the first step possible. Because once you do that tiny thing, no matter how small, your brain gets new evidence: ‘Hey, wait — I didn’t freeze completely. I did speak. I did connect.’ That cracks the old story.

Denice

One tiny rebellion weakens the old ‘I always freeze’ pathway and strengthens the new ‘I can speak up a little’ pathway. Our old friend neuroplasticity, at work.

Max

So you’re saying it’s less about pep talks and more about building receipts?

Denice

Exactly. You’re collecting receipts — real-world proof that your brain can’t argue with. And the more receipts, the stronger the new identity track becomes.

Lisa

And there’s a research-backed way to make these rebellions even more automatic — the implementation intentions, or if–then planning I mentioned earlier.

Max

I'm all ears, Lisa

Denice

Instead of just hoping you’ll remember to rebel when the belief hits, you pre-program your response.

Lisa

For example: ‘IF I hear the thought I’m not good enough when I open my email, THEN I will immediately list one small accomplishment from yesterday.’

Denice

Or ‘IF my brain says I can’t finish this project, THEN I’ll set a 5-minute timer and tackle the smallest step.’

Max

So you’re basically setting mental trip wires — booby traps that trigger the better response automatically.

Denice

Yes. Willpower is unreliable. If–then planning takes willpower out of it. Trigger → plan → action. You’re coding your preferred reaction in advance.

Max

Okay, I’ll admit — that’s practical. Less rah-rah, more programming hack.

Lisa

So maybe pause right now. Name one nagging limiting belief. Just one. Now craft an if–then plan. If the trigger shows up, then I will do this tiny act of rebellion. That’s how you start flipping the script.

Denice

Exactly. You’re not just thinking positively. You’re gathering proof — direct evidence that forces your brain to update the story.

Max

And proof beats pep talks every time.

Lisa

Nice, so identity, consistency, emotions, beliefs—we’ve pulled them apart. Let’s put them back together and see the full spiral. What’s the ultimate takeaway here?

Denice

Solomon said something really profound: ‘Change doesn’t require perfection. Just presence, a breath, a decision to realign.

Lisa

Presence over perfection. That’s a serious mic drop.

Denice

It is. And Celeste added, ‘You are the author of your story. Write it with courage, one breath at a time.

Lisa

And notice what they’re not saying. They’re not demanding flawlessness. They’re pointing to an ongoing process: mindful effort, gentle action, consistent alignment.

Max

Alright, but does all this really connect? Identity language, emotions, beliefs…or are we just juggling buzzwords?

Lisa

That’s what’s powerful — it’s a loop. Changing your identity language helps reduce dissonance. That emotional ease frees bandwidth to challenge limiting beliefs. Each tiny rebellion reinforces your chosen identity. Round and round, it spirals upward.

Denice

Exactly — less internal friction, less of that exhausting tug-of-war. You shift into a flow state where things feel congruent. Not perfect, but congruent.

Max

So the secret sauce is…tiny consistent actions, not heroic overnight transformations?

Denice

Absolutely. It’s neuroplasticity again. Each breath, each small choice, each micro-act of courage — those strengthen new neural pathways. Bit by bit, you’re physically rebuilding the architecture of the identity you want.

Lisa

It’s momentum through receipts. You stack small wins until the new way of being feels natural.

Max

Not a quick fix. A steady rebuild.

Lisa

Right. Which circles back to agency and presence. You’re in the driver’s seat. You choose how to talk to yourself, how to breathe, how to reframe, how to rebel in tiny ways against the old autopilot.

Denice

So maybe take this with you: presence over perfection. Agency over autopilot. One breath, one choice, one rebellion at a time.

Lisa

So, quick recap. Identity is chosen, shaped by language and neuroplasticity. Tiny consistent actions rewire the brain and reduce dissonance. Tools like embodied cognition and gratitude give us leverage over emotions. And tiny rebellions with if–then planning help us rewrite limiting beliefs. That’s a toolkit — not fluff.

Denice

Exactly. A toolkit you can actually use. And here’s your challenge: pick one limiting belief, just one. Write down an if–then plan for it. If the old thought shows up, then I’ll take this one small action. Test it this week. That’s your tiny rebellion.

Max

And no excuses. Lower the bar if you have to. One action. One receipt for your brain. That’s how you start stacking evidence.

Lisa

And tonight, add the gratitude lever: write down three things, however small, that you’re grateful for. That’s less than two minutes. Between the tiny rebellion and the gratitude list, you’re laying bricks on the new path.

Denice

Because every single time you do it, you’re strengthening new neural connections. You’re literally building new architecture for the identity you want.

Lisa

So ask yourself: what amazing new architecture could you start building today? One small, courageous, deliberate choice at a time. Presence over perfection. Agency over autopilot.

Max

And if I can manage gratitude without rolling my eyes, trust me — you can too.

Lisa

Keep exploring. Keep choosing. And remember: you are the author of your story.

Denice

See you at the next mind workout, fam!

Max

And seriously—don’t make me eat the Brussels sprouts. [Laughs]